What happened to just messing around?
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
I’m a hopeless romantic in a world where romance is dead and love is taken for granted.
Mr. Brightside (via theapatheia)

(via this-is-not-wonderland1)

burgrs:

im so worried about tall boys….be safe…be careful up there… maybe u should come down here and kiss me

(via zayn-co)

Monday with 1,258 notes / reblog
Monday with 17,209 notes / reblog

earthnation:

my room isn’t messy it’s grunge

(via asvprock)

twowhovianhearts:

askenjonine:

kierstiel:

221becquerel:

zchr:

what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and you had to discover who you were based off your posts

“wow I sure had a thing for boats”

#’wait am i a gay man’

image

this is the most perfect thing on tumblr omfg

(via love-aslongasyoulive)

Monday with 616 notes / reblog

whydouwantaname:

scarred-fallenangel:

scaronthewrongside:

lightningdave:

Please let Gabriel be in the musical episode.

PLEASE LET GABRIEL BE IN THE MUSICAL EPISODE

Please let Gabriel be in the musical episode

pLEASE LET GABRIEL BE IN THE MUSICAL EPISODE

PLéáse let GABrIEL BE iN the MúSiCaL ePISóde

GABE

please let Gabriel be the CAUSE of the musical episode

THIS WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thebrotherswinchester:

you know what constantly blew my mind as a child

in movies when a character is looking straight into their reflection in a mirror

like

how does the camera not show up in the mirror

actually never mind about the whole “as a child” business i still haven’t figured this shit out

(Source: sergeantjerkbarnes, via deanindisguise)

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